Michael - why did you not write your own points as recognition of what was going on inside you as you listened, but seemingly did not hear, your wife's points?
Place this with your wife putting together her points, it seems slightly deprecating the manner this is portrayed here with you writing 'in her words'.
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My wife would curse, rightly, if I were to do this. We, as two people from different backgrounds, often play to other people's perceptions of us. We know we face racism and work to each other's strengths, as a team, to turn other people's prejudices to our advantage
Our daughter, when confronted with someone talking absolutes of black and white described her Mum as coffee with some milk and her Dad as sort of pink who goes red when he runs. And herself? Almond and said she is she as a person liking people as people.